Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
