things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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