I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My bed smells like the plague
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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