I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Randomize
