Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize