I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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