Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
