Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
being pregnant is like rehab
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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