I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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