Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
