please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
