I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
