Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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