she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You made out with two different species that night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize