i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
