He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
