Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
