dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
