i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize