I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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