You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
