it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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