i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
