There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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