I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
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