we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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