Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
