He is such a slut. More and more my type.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
