so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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