whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
