Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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