so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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