I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
