First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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