Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
