I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
