Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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