So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
