Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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