you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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