I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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