sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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