I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
