Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
