I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
