Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
