It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
