Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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