The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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