i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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