how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
