I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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