Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
do nipples grow back?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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