And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
