Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
