I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
