Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
