And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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