I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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