super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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